Jersey Girl, Texan Heart: My 1,664 mile trip to what I thought was a new life.

My 1,664 mile trip to what I thought was a new life.

1:22 AM

So I said I would talk about TX, here goes.  By the way this isn’t a short read, so read it when you have a few minutes to spare.


I always had a good feeling about TX, now the weird part is even though my nationality (by parents) is Polish, I was born and raised in NJ.  As some of the stereotypes say, we pump our fists, say “Joisy” instead of Jersey, go tanning and drink a lot or yell a lot, wellllll they are not true.

I live in a small town in Northern Jersey (yes we ACTUALLY say Jersey) and I am surrounded by farms, lakes, and mountains.  If you look at the picture above you will see that it looks like the country side of any state BUT NJ.  I’m also pale as anything if you couldn’t tell but I do get tan in the summertime.  Have I gone tanning before?  The answer is yes but never to the point where I was orange haha.  Do I pump my fists?  Absolutely not, only as a joke now after The Jersey Shore blew up haha.  Speaking of the shore, it’s gone.  It’s so sad because that IS something that I did that fit the stereotype.  Seaside is known as “sleezeside” but every once in a while I will go.  Anyway, I come from farmland and country side in NJ.  So moving to Texas should not have been a big adjustment.  Here is my story…
I always wanted to go to Texas, I wasn’t sure why until my dad told me that my Grandpa always wanted to retire there, and well he passed away before he could ever even visit Texas.  I was engaged at one point in my life and my fiancé at the time did not want to move to Texas so I put that idea on the back burner.  After we broke off the engagement and went our separate ways, I started my mission to make it to Texas.  I started to budget myself and try and save money, unfortunately that’s a little hard when you are going to school, paying for your previous degree, and working Full time but with part time hours, that’s retail for ya.
I ran into some financial problems at one point because my student loans kept on coming, I started off paying two and then somehow ended up with 6 more.  I ended up putting some on hold but it killed my bank account for those 6 months.  So I was set back with Mission POSSIBLE-Texas style.  After about 6 months of being newly single I decided to go out for St. Patrick’s Day.  I was invited to a get together with some friends and just so happens that one of the friends cousins lived in Texas and was stationed at Ft. Hood, he was home on leave. 
I was so excited to talk to someone who moved from NJ to TX!  We got to talking and decided to exchange phone numbers/emails to be able to keep in contact.  Since I knew his cousin I thought hey this can be my gateway to Texas, networking, it’s ALL about networking.  Well, we ended up dating (my HUGE mistake)and he came home a few times, so we tried the long distance thing.  This was a good and bad thing for my Texas move because even though I had a way to Texas, I would be moving for all the wrong reasons.  Well finally after I graduated with my MBA I decided this is the best time to at least go on vacation to Texas because I couldn’t find a job, and I might have not been able to ever do this if I did find one.  So I went on vacation and stayed with my boyfriend at the time and his Army roommates.  There was an extra room in the house that they said if I moved down I could take that room and put all of my belongings in it.  

I had such a great time in Texas.  I actually found a job after one week of being there.  Even though it was another dead end job selling cars I thought hey, this will be my ticket here, after that I can start looking for jobs in Austin since it’s so close. 
Needless to say the day before my boyfriend was supposed to fly to Jersey to help me pack up my car and move 24 years of my life to a completely different state, he told me he wasn’t coming.  My stomach dropped when he said this.  I thought ok probably what happened was he couldn’t take off from work or something.  He continued and said the dreadful four words, “We need to talk.”
After that I sat down.  He ended up telling me that the whole time he was with me he was also having a girlfriend in Texas and we actually met when I visited him and she knew about me.  Well he ended up saying he wanted to be with her instead.  The exact words that came out of my mouth were “You are a pig don’t ever speak to me again goodbye.”
Once I got off that phone I thought oh no what am I supposed to do now, I already put my two weeks in at my job here in NJ and I had a job waiting for me in Texas!  I talked to my parents and told them I’m going to Texas anyway, if I don’t like it I’ll come back home.  I didn’t want there to be any “what if’s” if I didn’t go.  Well I packed up all my stuff by myself, had a friend drive with me to Texas and then I dropped him and my brother off at the airport once I made it to my apartment.


By the way that above picture is the day I got my first pair of boots!

That Monday I started work.  I was finally happy, I had a job, a car, my own place, life was good.  Well a few weeks into being on my own I started getting sad, homesick mostly.  That’s when it started to hit me that I had just gotten out of a relationship where the guy cheated on me the whole time and I was by myself.  One day during lunch I decided to go to the local animal shelter just to look and I locked eyes with a sweet puggle  which was a female.  I never wanted a female dog.  I will never forget the look she gave me when she saw me.  I pointed to her and told the shelter volunteer, “I want her.”  The woman asked me if I was sure because the dog had just had a litter, she looked like a cow with utters (her stomach stretched out drastically) and she was underweight like crazy and so nervous that when I even walked toward her she flinched.  I said yes I’m sure I want her.


I called work to say I was going to be a few minutes late because I had just adopted a dog.  They laughed and said “we were waiting on when you were going to get a roommate.”
My newly adopted furry child was in such bad shape.  I ended up naming her Lilly Savannah, but Lilly is just fine.  Lilly was 15 pounds with utters and so skiddish.  When I actually was able to roll her over she was infested with ticks.  I immediately grabbed tweezers and took all of those nasty things off her.  My poor dog was literally being eaten and infected alive.  Thankfully when I brought her to the vet they tested her for everything and tests came back that she was a healthy little girl except her weight was severely underweight. 
Since then I’ve plumped her up to a whopping 25 pounds and the vet actually said she is getting close to being overweight so I need to put her on a diet.  Can you believe that?
Anyway, a few weeks after I adopted Lilly, she saved my life.  It was in the middle of the night I woke up to Lilly viciously growling.  I was so worried because I thought oh my god she has rabies and she’s going to bite me and hurt me.  I looked to see that she was starring at the window and not moving while sounding like a german shepherd guarding his territory.  

When I looked at the window my heart started pounding and I broke out in a sweat.  There was a large shadow outside my window (I lived on the ground level) and it was slowly moving.  As soon as I was able to make out what was going on, it was a person.  I grabbed the hunting knife that I would leave in my nightstand every night as a just in case and waited.  As soon as the shadow moved closer to my window Lilly started barking as if she was ready to attack and kill this intruder.  Luckily her bark woke up all of my surrounding neighbors and all the lights started turning on, when I ran into the other room I saw a figure run away towards the street.  My neighbors who were newlyweds around my age asked me what had happened and the husband looked to see if there was any sign of the person.  He found nothing.  When I went to work the next day one of the girls said that my complex had gotten broken into a few weeks ago, no one was hurt it was just robberies.  After this I was very arlarmed.  I actually walked into Wal-Mart to see how much a gun was just in case.
After a few more weeks my job wasn’t what I was promised and I was outraged but I didn’t say anything because I thought I’ll just start looking for my dream job in Austin once I get to know Texas.  I didn’t even get a chance to do that because I ended up not getting the salary I was promised so I couldn’t pay my bills and on top of that I got sick and my parents were afraid for me.  I made the decision to come back home and be with my family when I needed them most.
Now my bad luck keeps getting worse.
I had paid for a plane ticket for one of my friends to fly to Texas and help me drive back home because now I was sick and I had a dog with me.
It was almost like déjà vu.  The day before my friend was supposed to get on the plane he texted me and said I’m sorry but I can’t come.  He never gave me a legitimate response as to why he can’t and said he would pay me back for the ticket.  The only words I said were, “I will never forgive you for this.”
“What in the world do I do now?”  Is what I said after that text.  I was in shock because the same thing had happened only this time it was one of my close friends who left me stranded.  I couldn’t believe it.  How could this possibly happen a second time?  What did I do to deserve this?
Now I started to go into survival mode.  I already got out of my lease for my apartment, I had no job, I had just enough money to make it back home, and I had a dog to take care of.  I spoke to my dad and he kept saying that he could take his vacation time to come help me.  I told him no I will come home on my own as long as he can help me arrange places to stop for the night.
After 1,664 miles and three long days of driving and stopping in different cities with a dog I made it home.  I have never been so happy in my life.  I never wanted a hug from my parents as badly as I wanted it at that very moment.
My friends who had left me stranded knew what was going on and how I was sick (not contagious) and I told them they could come to my house but I couldn’t go anywhere.  The friend who said would pay me back didn’t say one word to me when he knew I came back.  Finally after two weeks of barely hearing from anyone I started contacting people or attempting to.  The first conversation was with the friend who owed me money he said he refused to pay me back and that he doesn’t care about our friendship all after I said I will never forgive you.  After that he started spreading rumors with the rest of my so called friends who never came to see me.  I still to this day don’t know why all of this happened but I think it was because I left and came back home expecting for things to be the same.
I lost all of my friends and started to focus on myself and my future.  Now I look back and know this happened for a reason, to make my life better.  Even though I struggled and I still don’t have many friends I’m happy.  I have a good job, I have two of the best friends (my mom and Lilly) I could ever ask for, I am financially stable, and most importantly I’m happy.  I think that if I would’ve stayed with that group of people I would have still been stuck at dead end jobs, I think they were bringing me down and lowering my standards.  It’s sad how I could have been manipulated that easily.  Well since then I’ve grown up and learned a lot and have gotten better health wise.  As you all know I got my dream job and a good life all around.
The one sentence I love to say is “everything happens for a reason.”  It really is true.  If all of those bad things wouldn’t have happened who knows if I would be where I am today.  If my ex wouldn’t have told me about the other girl I would’ve found out sooner or later and what if we got married and he was cheating on me or what if I came home and kept the friends I had, would I have turned out like this or like them?  Right now I’m at a time in my life where I’m on the right track.  I have a good head on my shoulders and I am not taking any prisoners! Haha no but really I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished and overcome in the past year.  It’s been a rough couple of years but this last year was the worst. 
I’m actually glad that I had to struggle to get to where I am because it is what has made me strong, humble, and appreciative. 
I wanted to share this story with everyone and if anyone actually took the time to read all the way down to this part I give you props.  I hope this touches or inspires someone to go after their dream but if you make mistakes learn from them.  Don’t ever give up because there were so many times where I really wanted to but I said I’m not a quitter and finally right when I was just about finished trying is when life started to turn around.  Believe in yourself and believe that you can do whatever you desire you just have to work for it.  And most importantly, Everything happens for a reason!

Thank you to my family who stuck by me I love all of you!
xoxo Moniczka

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