Jersey Girl, Texan Heart: 7 Reasons why you need to let go of your ex.
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7 Reasons why you need to let go of your ex.

2:33 PM


Most of us have had that one ex, you know the one.  The one who impacted your life so much that for some reason you kept thinking what if, even a few years later?  The one that you “checked up on” numerous times via social media, or for some people, the one that you STILL check up on.  The ex who left you hanging and threw you a curveball, or the one who changed so much that it changed you for the worst.  I’ve been reading a lot of articles on Elite Daily and what not about these types of topics and I wanted to add my input.

A lot of people are going to judge you so be prepared.  There will be the girl friends who just don’t understand and one of the worst things you can hear is “it’s his loss.”  Is it though?  Is it really his loss?  Depending on the timing you might have different answers to those questions.  You weren’t meant to be with each other forever.  You might have been meant to be with each other for the moment but that’s it.  Don’t get me wrong I am definitely guilty of being the repeat offender, of breaking up and getting back together when I was younger.  I was very angry in the beginning but once the feelings started to wilt like a beautiful flower I realized the dark truth.  You need to let go.  Here are some reasons why.

1.  You might miss meeting “the one.” 

What if that day that you were supposed to meet up with that really nice guy you cancelled on because your ex called you asking to hang out was your match?  What if that was the day you were supposed to meet your Clyde to your Bonnie, your Simba to your Nala, what if?  That dream guy that you have pictured in your head is not your ex.  He was at some point, but not anymore.

2.  Your health.

That moment that your stomach drops because you see a picture of him and his new girlfriend and it just hurts your heart even more.  You aren’t just feeling hurt, you are feeling jealousy.  Jealousy that why is he able to find someone and I’m still stuck on him.  What the heck?  Then you start doubting yourself.  Is there something wrong with me?  Am I broken?  You will drive yourself crazy asking these questions that will never be answered.  You will start building a negative atmosphere around yourself and that is never beneficial to your health.

3.  Family and Friends. 

Now, I know that Marilyn Monroe once said “if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best,” however you don’t want to become that friend that only talks about her ex.  That friend who talks so terribly about him one day and the next she’s madly in love with him.  When you’re out with your friends the last thing they want to hear about when they ask how was your day is “oh my god I can’t stand him today.”  The same goes for your family, and the worst part is they will be brutally honest, they won’t sugarcoat anything.  If your friends are extremely close to you then they will most likely react the same way, only difference is they don't have to love you at the end of the day, your family has no choice in the matter.  When you’re at your most vulnerable state, the last thing you want is someone to be brutally honest.

4.  Time.

I hate to break it to you but you are wasting your time.  Sometimes people break up and then they get back together and everything is fine, they live happily ever after.  If you have broken up more than once it’s time to let it go.  That is precious time spent fighting and crying that you can be laughing and enjoying life.  Do you really want to look back on your life 5 years from now and regret having wasted so much time hoping for something that deep down inside your gut you knew wouldn’t end well?  If you have that gut feeling, follow it.

5.  Being the bigger person makes you grow up.

I’m sure a lot of people have heard this whether it be with your siblings, coworkers, friends, or in this case exes.  Someone has to be smarter than the other and end it.  It can hurt just as much being the one to end it as being on the receiving end.  Sometimes it might even hurt more when you say your goodbyes first.  It will be hard, that I cannot lie about but in the end you will be better off.  I know it's easier said than done, but you have to do it.

6.  Second best. 

After you break up and both of you have moved on and then somehow every time gravitate towards each other when you’re single again, you will always be second best.  You won’t be his number 1 again because he knows you will be there so you are the safety, the backup, maybe even the other woman.  You don’t want to be with this person when you secretly know that you aren’t number 1 anymore. 

7.  It shouldn’t be this hard. 

It really shouldn’t.  Sure, when you love someone sometimes it can be hard if you run into some issues and certain things can make or break a couple but if you’re pulling teeth then you really shouldn’t continue.  Being with “the one” should be amazing, passionate, and positive.  The honeymoon phase is real and if that isn't fun and happy, then you really need to rethink this.

***

Don’t hate his new girlfriend or have anger towards her.  It’s really not entirely her fault because it takes two to tango.  Who knows, maybe she didn’t even know about you.  Don’t be jealous of her, you just weren’t the right one for your ex, you’re meant for someone else.  Someone who will cherish you.  Someone who is passionate.  You will never forget your first love, or this type of an ex.  You might have a distant memory of them.  One thing I will say, I learned from my mistake of being angry.  This just makes it harder to let go and meet someone new.  It will also make you compare your new man to your old one.  That’s never good.  If you start doing that, you probably aren’t ready to go back on the market yet. 

It will happen, you WILL be happy.  I found happiness by being single, now that I have my life in order and I did everything by the book I’m ready to find my other half, my Clyde, my Simba.  I needed to stand alone to find my inner strength.  I had to fix myself before I could bring anyone into my life.  I had to be at my best, not at my worst.

Letting go is the hardest part.  Saying goodbye and not see you later will not be easy.  It gets easier with time and if you need to be reminded of that just listen to “Timing is Everything.”  It's totally fine if you cry when you listen to this song, I sure did.


   

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4 comments

  1. This is such a great post! I married my high school sweetheart, but the guy I dated just before him stayed with me (mentally) for a long time. I see so many of my girlfriends dealing with this sort of thing--hanging on to something that is clearly over or just not right. Perfect post girl!

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  2. So true and I LOVE that song! Country Strong is such an underrated movie : ).
    www.amemoryofus.com

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    Replies
    1. Absolutely! That's one of my favorite movies and not many people have seen it.

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