Jersey Girl, Texan Heart: 5 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Settle For Just Anything
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5 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Settle For Just Anything

4:00 AM


A few months ago I wrote a post about being single in your late 20’s and how it’s really not bad at all.  Now that I have recently been out of the single game and am in a relationship I want to say that I STILL stand by that post (and no it’s not because I’m unhappy, I’m actually the happiest I’ve ever been hehe).  I had a few unpleasant reactions to that post because I think people misunderstood what my point was.  It wasn’t to say that relationships suck and that I’m anti love, NOT. AT. ALL.  I was just trying to let everyone who reads my blog know that it’s OK to be single in your late 20’s.  A few of my friends were just talking about that topic and I decided to write about it.  So, where am I going with this do you ask?  I want to write a response blog post to myself (yes you read that right) on being in a relationship but not settling for one, hence why being single isn’t really bad.  I’d rather be single than settle.

To give a little background story about what’s going on in my life with my new relationship, I’ve known him for 8.5 years and timing was never on our side until a few months ago.  We started talking, then we started hanging out again, and before we both knew it, BAM we were in a relationship (Facebook official and everything lol).  Now I am a tough girl to impress especially when it comes to relationships.  I’ve been through quite a bit with bad relationships so I will say, I was definitely skeptical at first.  I think that’s why I go more for simple things and I cannot and I repeat CANNOT do complicated.  That whole option on Facebook where you can actually tell the world it’s complicated just blows my mind.  Either you’re in a relationship or you’re not.  Now, I understand there are certain circumstances where it most definitely is complicated but when you’re in your late 20’s and you’ve already had your fair share of drama llama relationships, things like “it’s complicated” just don’t fly, at least for me.  After being single for over two years and striking out with every guy I dated (yes there’s a difference between a relationship and dating) I reconnected with the boyfriend I have now.  I think the reason why timing was on our side this time was because I wasn’t settling for an ex or a guy who I thought was into me but really wasn’t, I finally went against every guy I ever dated.  I finally met an amazing guy, who does surprise me with thoughtful gifts instead of making me pay for everything.  I finally DIDN’T date the bad boy.  You always end up with the same thing, a broken heart and a bitter soul (at least for a few months) if you date that kind of guy.

So in response to my blog post I wanted to write 5 reasons why you shouldn’t settle and why it’ll help you find that one guy.

1.  What’s in it for you in the long run?

Well, if you meet the typical bad boy, absolutely nothing.  You can think you can change him all you want but your chances are slim to none.  In my opinion if you have to work on liking him or wanting to be with him you have a problem.  With me I have to instantly feel a connection, or there have to be some kind of butterflies.  If I don’t feel this at all or if I don’t smile when I see a text from this special someone then I don’t pursue it.  Being in a relationship shouldn’t be a burden or a chore.  A relationship should be your partner in your crime, your best friend, your ride or die, your biggest supporter.  When you meet a guy of course you don’t have to start thinking about marriage and settling down right away but just think of yourself 5 years down the line, will you still be happy? 

2.  You’re still young, but not young enough to make mistakes

Ok, so being in your late 20’s is definitely fun but it has its cons too.  You’re still young, but you always have to be a responsible adult.  You can’t go out on a Wednesday night and stay out until 5 in the morning and roll into work with just a change of clothes on.  At least not for me because I work in an office and appearance is a huge thing.  Plus, at my age I’m tired, too tired to even go out on the weekends so my weekdays are like school nights, I go home after work and that’s it.  When it comes to relationships I kept on telling myself that because I’m striking out it can mean I’ll be single forever but at the same time I wasn’t about to settle.  I wasn’t going to settle for someone who I could only see myself dating for the time being.  I wasn’t looking for Mr. Right Now, I was looking for Mr. Right.  The reason being because what if I did settle for one of the previous guys I went out on dates with and I missed my chance with my boyfriend now.  Once you get older you start to plan more and you start to look more into the future. 

3.  Happiness

One of my main focuses in life is my happiness.  Yes, I’m selfish, but I haven’t been selfish for most of my life.  I need to make sure I am happy doing what I am doing.  Life is seriously too short to be unhappy.  Each day is a new beginning and each day is a blessing.  I live by this. 
With relationships you have to make sure you’re happy.  If you’re just in it because you can’t find anyone else you won’t be happy in the future.  You’ll have regrets and a life full of what if’s.  If your heart isn’t fully invested then maybe it’s time to move on.  Don’t be afraid of being single because you never know that’s what might make you the happiest.  Just don’t settle thinking you can work on being happy.

4.  Sacrifice

In my current relationship we haven’t really made any sacrifices because both of us are home bodies and he doesn’t mind if I blog or bring my jewelry making tools.  However some people expect you to sacrifice certain things about your life when you get into a relationship.  When you settle for a relationship you may be forced to make sacrifices if the person doesn’t support your current life.  I’m not saying dump the guy you’re dating because he won’t let you go out with the girls and go home with another guy (I really hope no one thought this is what I was implying haha) because that’s NOT what I’m getting at.  I mean that if you have something you’re proud of (for example how I’m proud of this blog or my business) and he can’t be proud with you then he’s not worth it.  My boyfriend now is so extremely supportive of my blog and my etsy shop and he’s so understanding when I say “I have to stay home tonight because I have to blog.”  He knows that I am an independent person and that I won’t stop doing what I’m doing just because we are in a relationship and he gets the same treatment.  He’s the first boyfriend who’s been so supportive of everything I’m doing and he’s genuine about it.  That’s why don’t settle for someone who’s going to make you sacrifice the things you love, unless you’re willing to make these sacrifices.  That’s the first sign of a controlling person.  This goes for both guys and girls.

5.  Sharing is Caring

You want to make sure that when you do find that amazing relationship that you are willing to share.  Sharing the blanket, sharing secrets, sharing thoughts, and if one of you is sick, sharing germs.  You don’t want to settle for someone who isn’t willing to share, especially when it comes to sharing thoughts and ideas.  If you don’t feel comfortable enough then I think you have a major issue.


If I would’ve settled for any of the previous guys I met and dated over the past 2 years I wouldn’t have been happy right now.  There was always some kind of gut feeling about the guy that he’s just not the lasting relationship type.  With the new guy it was an instant spark and that’s what I wanted, I wasn’t going to settle for anything less than that spark.  Like I said in the beginning of this post I stand behind my original post 110% of how being single in your late 20’s isnt’ bad because it taught me to stand on my own.  I could barely take care of myself and bringing someone into my life would have just messed it all up for me if I would’ve settled for just a guy because I was lonely.  I needed someone who was going to respect my independence and strength that I gained while being single.  I needed to know that the guy I was going to be in a relationship with wouldn’t be a waste of time.  I don’t know what the future holds for me but so far, so good.

Oh, and if you're single or in a relationship two amazing books to read that truly helped me relationship wise are He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
 and The Single Girl's Manifesta: Living in a Stupendously Superior Single State of Mind.  Trust me, these are must reads!  You can click on either of those titles to be directed to the actual book!

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