Jersey Girl, Texan Heart: Love Yourself and a Link Up!
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Love Yourself and a Link Up!

4:00 AM







Dress:  Burberry // Necklace and Small Bangle:  Rocksbox // Big Bangles:  Lilly In Pink // Clutch:  Ralph Lauren // Shoes:  Gucci 

There have been a few times on this blog where I’ve gotten kind of personal with things.  Today I wanted to talk about something that I think most women struggle with; weight insecurities.  I know what you’re thinking, you’ve already heard this a bazillion times before.  I really wanted to stop and talk a little bit about it so people could understand where women are coming from with this and how I’ve been working on loving myself and my body.  Don’t worry this post will NOT bash any body size because I believe that no matter how big or small you are you always have something you would definitely point out.  I’ve talked to a few skinny ladies and they have told me how they wish they had bigger hips and a fuller butt, you know, that sort of thing.

As most of you know I’m not on the skinny spectrum, I’m kind of average but towards the lighter side of average.  I’ve struggled with my appearance based on weight for a very long time.  Growing up I was never the skinny girl who could eat as much as she wanted and still stay at a size 00.  I’ve always needed to watch my intake, and at times I was a little too obsessive over it.  I’ve lost weight the unhealthy and healthy way.  The first time I was ever called curvy (two years ago)I was taken by surprise.  I never considered myself curvy.  I thought I was a normal size, more athletic than curvy.  I took it as being called fat but in a nicer version.  I also later discovered that this person’s definition of curvy was any girl over the size of a 4, I’m an 8/10 for those of you who are wondering.

So, what brought on this discussion?  You see that picture above?  There’s a roll that has been left there but slightly edited.  For some reason my camera makes me look extremely short and bigger than I am.  I’m DEFINITELY not short, and I’m DEFINITELY not that size in real life, and no I’m not in denial.  Well, I got extremely upset when I saw that roll.  I know, it’s a roll a lot of women have, and it was just a bad angle because you bent over, just get over it.  It was almost as if it struck something inside of me that in that moment I got so upset that I didn’t even want to look at myself anymore. 

In my opinion it’s harder to be a fashion blogger who has a little extra fluff on her.  A skinnier girl can wear a potatoe sack and make it work because it’s like dressing a model.  You really have to know how to dress yourself so that you accentuate everything good and cover up all of the bad.  I have no problem with my bottom half, I love my butt and I love my “thunder thighs” as someone called them once even though they’re really not.  It’s the top half I don’t know how to work with due to my stomach and arms. 

I came across a plus size blogger the other day and regained my little bit of confidence and love for myself when I saw her owning her curves.  You can tell that she has so much confidence and she is fierce.  Then I started to think about my little outburst of unnecessary sadness the other day.  Why was I upset?  Girl you have to own every inch of your body regardless if you have a little extra around the edges.  You need to be a role model to other women who are in the same mindset or even help someone who struggles with an eating disorder.  That is a serious thing that I don’t think should ever be taken lightly.  Have you seen what an eating disorder does to a person?  It’s horrible and I feel for those women AND men because it happens to both.

Ok, so now that I babbled on forever, how do I deal with my insecurities?  That’s a really tough question, because I’m not entirely out of the water yet.  The first time I ever came to terms with being “plus size” in the fashion industry is when I was seriously deciding on becoming a model.  Then when I looked at all of the size requirements and found out I’d be considered plus size I said absolutely not.  A woman at my size is NOT plus size.  I wouldn’t want to be that type of role model to other people.  So many people have told me to try and be a model because I’m tall enough and have “legs for days” but I won’t do it.  I’m happy with my blog and being a “model” here in my own little corner of cyber world.

After this mini revelation the other day (which I don’t know why I needed it honestly because I’ve been happy with my “curves” for quite some time, not sure why that picture made me upset)I sat down and thought about it.  How am I supposed to be happy if I can’t love myself?  Not in a narcissistic way either folks, I’m talking about loving your body and the flaws that we focus on.  I’ve been called fat and a big girl plenty of times and you have to learn to ignore it.  Just like when someone tells a skinny girl to go eat a burger.  Most of the time that girl is probably eating 10 burgers a day so she can have some kind of curve to her body.  You just have to look at yourself in the mirror and say you are good enough.  When you shop don’t look at the sizes, look at what looks GOOD on YOU. 

To the roll in the picture that tried to ruin my happiness with myself, go step on some legos.  No one wants you around anymore!

If you’ve read all the way up to this point, thank you, I know it was a long read!

Please read the rules for linking up!  Thank you!
   
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16 comments

  1. ur beautiful and that roll is just because of how your body was bending :)we all get them. u are healthy <3 I love youuuu!

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  2. Such a gorgeous color of blue! It looks so good on you!

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  3. love the flirty dress!
    Irene
    www.thedailylace.com

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  4. Great outfit! I love the color of the dress. Is that Lake Mohawk in NJ?

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  5. I think you look fantastic! So true, self love needs to come first!
    www.amemoryofus.com

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  6. Thanks so much for sharing. We all feel insecure about our bodies, and the older you get, the harder it gets because then your not just considering your weight, but the issues that aging has on your body as well. The main reason I started doing fashion posts on my blog was because I couldn't find fashion pictures of older women on the internet who didn't dress 'old'. So I thought, I might as well lead the way. Love your dress by the way, that style and color looks gorgeous on you!

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  7. This is my first time ever visiting your blog from Pampers and Pearls. And I read your post today, and just wanted to offer some support in saying to you that you are beautiful, just as you are! I see no fluff, and definitely no thunder thighs! The world is so full of haters, I have experienced it too.

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  8. I love this blue color on you, and you have a face that can carry off short and long hair! Love it. I read your post and I understand, I think it about getting to a point in one's life where one is happy with themselves. I could go on,but my arm is killing me fromtendonitis. You look lovely in this dress!
    xx jess
    www.elegantlydressedandstylish
    thanks for hosting!

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  9. Love that dress: the vivid shade of blue, the font buttons, the flouncy skirt - all of it is perfect. On top of ypu chose the perfect pretty jewels for it, Monica. Pleasure linking up as usual. =)

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  10. You look beautiful! I love your outfit!! Your necklace compliments the outfit perfectly!

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  11. Girl if you have thunder thighs I have hippo thighs and I'm short Lolol you are beautiful and any imperfections only you are not ok with you can work on them to make you feel good but don't beat yourself up over everyone else's expectations! Know you are gorgeous, great personality and own that shit! Even when the "fashion industry" labels you .. You can tell them to suck it! Know your assets and use them.. Because we all have something that brings out our true beauty 😉

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  12. Let me say this my dear...I noticed no "roll" when I looked at your pictures. In fact, I had to scroll back up, take a look again, and then I wasn't even sure that I found what you called a "roll". That being said, I can relate. Since I was 16, the smallest I've ever been was a 6. I'm now pushing 16. I'm not happy with my current size, but I work at not allowing self-hatred to creep in (although it certainly tries to). I think you look fantabulous!

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  13. Beautiful post, Monica!! Tell it sister! But seriously, I always appreciate when people talk about this subject because it really is something that effects all women. I've found that although not everybody has an eating disorder, more women than not have disordered thinking or behaviors. It seems to be accepted by our culture and I just hate that!! It takes strong women who speak out, like you, to really make a change for the better.

    Christie
    The Closet by Christie

    www.theclosetbychristie.com

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  14. You look great in blue! Love your bracelets! xo Andrea

    Boho Bunnie

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