Jersey Girl, Texan Heart: Kimono Love and dealing with rejection as a blogger
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Kimono Love and dealing with rejection as a blogger

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Kimono:  Old (TK Maxx in Poland) // Pants:  Ralph Lauren // Shoes:  Kenneth Cole (TJ Maxx)

What I love about this kimono is that it’s made its appearance here on the blog quite a few times because it’s just such a great piece and kimonos have been trending for a few years now.  I seriously love this trend and I hope it stays around for a little while longer because it’s a great way to go from casual to casual chic with just one piece, but still stay comfortable.  The kimono I bought in Poland a few years ago at TK Maxx which is the European sister company to TJ Maxx.  I paired this kimono with a bright pink tank (because pink is my FAV!) and my new gray Kenneth Cole slides from TJ Maxx.  I’ve been searching for a good pair of slides for summer ever since I started seeing these trending amongst some of the bloggers I follow.  I finally found the pair for me!  I went to a few stores and couldn’t find anything or couldn’t find anything that just screamed out to me.  Then I went to TJ Maxx for a quick skim through and there they were!  I wish they would’ve been black because I tend to get my shoes very dirty, BUT I love them.  They are the perfect shade of gray.  Well, actually, I take that back.  Every shade of gray is perfect in my eyes.  I honestly love that gray has become a thing, that’s why I painted my room in my parent’s house (literally a year before I moved out, but hey at least they have a nice extra bedroom!) this gorgeous gray.  I was a little afraid of it making the room look cold and not cozy, but it definitely works, you just have to make sure you add the right furniture and décor.  Anyway, back to the outfit.  I love that it makes me feel calm and almost hippie’esque which is a major plus because I’m usually an anxious mess half the time haha.

I also wanted to talk about something else since I’m talking about feeling calm as opposed to anxious.  Since I have noticed that y’all actually read what I write (I honestly thought I was just writing my thoughts and no one was actually taking the time to read because I tend to ramble haha) from all of the awesome comments you post, I wanted to touch base on how to deal with rejection as a blogger.  Most of us bloggers have gone through this.  You so badly want to work with a brand and then you get rejected or you so badly want to be approved for certain companies and you get rejected.  Well, lately I’ve had two major rejections that kind of bummed me out, and I wanted to tell everyone how to deal with rejection because, well, it sucks.

Case 1-The brand that didn't say goodbye

I worked with this one brand for a decent amount of time through my blog and was so excited when I first started working with them because it was the second brand (besides Ewa Bazaar) that I was able to have a long time collab with.  Well, I noticed back in October that I hadn’t received my quarterly blogger incentive and thought oh maybe they just got really busy and I’ll get it a little late.  Then come December I didn’t receive my holiday bonus from them (they usually sent the incentive along with some other goodies like chocolate and stuff) and I started thinking ok, maybe they just forgot about me, I’ll just email my contact next week.  Well, believe it or not, I completely forgot up until two weeks ago.  Can you tell I’ve been super busy?  So, I emailed my contact and didn’t hear from her.  I thought to myself I’ll wait about a week.  I waited until a week went by and emailed her again last week.  I didn’t hear from her until the middle of the week.  She told me that they had a new Marketing team and that the director made the decision to outsource to another agency for their blogging incentives.  Whether this is true or not or she was just trying to be nice and not hurt my feelings I’m not sure.  She said she would send me one last incentive and that, that would be the end of our 3 years of working together.  When I had asked her about the agency if it was something that I could apply for (because I mean I’ve worked with them for so many years I thought I could at least try to be part of the new program) or if it was something where they hand select she stated that they hand select.  I know of a few bloggers who work with this brand and have been actively working with them for giveaways and such (which I only ever did 2 in the 3 years we worked together) but they have a larger following on Instagram.  I feel as though I was almost pushed to the side because I’m not a big time blogger so I don’t count, even though I’ve worked with them for so many years.  What really made me upset and actually made me not even want to purchase from this brand anymore (because I used to purchase things on my own before working with them) was the fact that after 3 years they didn’t even have the decency to tell me this.  No goodbye letter or anything. 

Ok, so how did I deal with it?

Even though this all happened last week, I’m still a little bummed but I had to think of it as a great opportunity.  Ok, so one door closed and another one will open.  I’m still working with brands, I mean I’ve worked with big brands like Banana Republic (twice, eeekkk that was super exciting), and other brands like Sally Hansen and Walmart.  I basically told myself that it’s just a chapter of my blog that’s closing and there will be more opportunities in the future.  Will I purchase from them again?  I don’t really know.  Them not even having the decency to tell me back in October that I would not be a part of their new program really left a bad taste in my mouth.  I work in a corporate environment for my full time job so I’m a stickler on customer service and professionalism when it comes to how other companies and brands operate so it just bugs me haha.

Case 2-Third times a charm

There is an affiliate that I have been applying to since 2014.  I’ve been rejected not just once, not twice, but three times.  Each time the affiliate did not tell me why I was rejected which would have been nice so I know what to work on and what they are looking for.  I heard about them when I went to one of the Lucky FABB conferences and thought oh wow what a great opportunity let me apply.  I could understand why back in 2014 I was rejected because I was still taking photos with my iPhone (back then it was the iPhone 4 so you can imagine the quality lol), I didn’t have a big following and my blog wasn’t very consistent, nor was it high in content like it is nowadays.  Then I tried again in August of last year.  I thought to myself that my pictures are much better quality, my blog is more consistent, and I’m just all around doing better.  Still, I got rejected.  Then over the holidays one of my posts was shared by a brand I worked with and my blog analytics went sky rocketing, so I thought ok, maybe I didn’t have enough of visitors to my site so let me try yet again.  I was rejected a third time. 

How did I deal with it?

Of course I was bummed because I saw other people getting approved for it (it’s a kind of obvious affiliate) and their blog/instagram was similar to mine.  What’s wrong with my content?  Why isn’t it good enough?  I honestly don’t know why I’m not getting approved and it would be nice for them to tell me why so I can work on those areas, but I just started saying, oh well and move on.  Yes, it’s frustrating and it sucks, but why dwell over something so insignificant to my life.  So what if I got rejected.  Will I apply a 4th time?  Umm, I don’t know.  I might, but at this point in time I’m content with being right where I’m at.  I feel like my blog is going in the right direction (trust me you’ll want to stay tuned come the end of the summer) and I’m so proud of how far I’ve come with this little chunk of cyberspace I have.  Sometimes when I get rejected I have to take a step back and remember WHY I started blogging in the first place and that I didn’t start so I can get free stuff and make money.  Whenever I do that I actually feel better because I love this blog.  I love coming here and writing my little heart out and I love sharing my style with the world.


   

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6 comments

  1. First things first, I am in love with this kimono and your slides are so fun! Rejection as a blogger is a total bummer, but I find that rejection in any form is what makes us better at our jobs, bloggers, and people. I love your blog, it's amazing!

    xx, Elise
    www.sparkleandslippers.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I so relate to this. It's super hard because I find myself trying so so hard to take better pictures, get my insta better, comment more, read more and really just do it all and I still get rejected. I don't have a huge following but I feel like by trying so hard it should amount to something right? Anyways you're not the only one and I love your blog so keep up the good work!

    http://www.mylittlenest.org

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's nice to hear others talk about this, because rejection is still hard. Even when you're older like me and have experienced it in many venues! I think you're doing great...and there are so many days, I still have to remind myself, I do it because I love it!
    Jodie
    www.jtouchofstyle.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. It used to completely send me into a spiral of depression whenever a brand I really wanted to work with, completely ignored me. Then when Fashion Week came (in February), and I was rejected by almost all of the brands whose shows I wanted to attend, I swear I almost gave up then and there. But I didn't. I reminded myself that I started writing because I've been writing since I was 7, and I couldn't stop writing even if I wanted to. Writing is breathing to me, and writing about brands was just a tiny part of the entire puzzle. Once I worked it out that way mentally, I was ok. Now, don't get me wrong. I still get upset and sad when a rejection email comes but I try to not let it overwhelm me quite as much anymore xoxo

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  5. Monica, I love the print of your kimono! So pretty and those shoes are awesome.. love most things with bows!
    Thanks for linking!
    jess xx
    www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm not a girl who is big into fashion or what people wear, but I love those shoes!! I may have to look into getting me a pair. I've been blogging for eight years and have been through rejections. I just have to remind myself that I am still privileged to work with many other great companies and that it's not the end of the world if a company says no.

    ReplyDelete

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